No more Fiesta

Wednesday, July 27, 2011

So my Vacations are finally approaching.
As I work on a store alone I made a schedule for this week so I could leave everything in order for the person who's taking over me for the couple of weeks I'll be away, I made a quick sketch of what to clean, file and organize in each day. I didn't manage to get anything done today...

I was excited to finally go away from this lonely job and rest by the beach, see places, sleep in late, not having to do chores and play all day long, just hang around without a care in the world... but it seems my plans got messed up.

It's really sad because after months of longing I was finally going to get some gratification, some enjoyment, just for me, without worrying about whether I needed to go groceries shopping, clean the bathroom or deal with impolite costumers, without worrying that I have to choose my path in life, that I have to go take care of my college papers and start a new step, yet again, in my life. It finally was the break I needed.

I don't even feel like going away with my parents to the South for those two weeks anymore, all the joy and excitement I had disappeared, and the emotion has been replaced with a sense of coldness, a void which is neither freezing or burning, just plain mild, constant.
I feel like a line on a blank page. Alone, precise and never fluctuating. Well it's better than feeling depressed right?
But I'll be going on Vacation with my parents and make the most of what I possibly can, I'll clear my head and let myself be happy, even though it's hard for me, because my parents love me, and they've done a lot for me. They don't see me very often so it's a big opportunity, I know if I were a parent I'd like to be with my child more than twice a month.
I love my parents, even though I'm a stray cat and prefer to be left by myself and enjoy my independence, I'm very grateful to them and I want to make them feel loved, so I'm doing this for them.

All of this because I looked at my schedule/list of things to get done, and this Saturday, my last day of work only had one word written in bold.

Well... I don't think so Tim.

Hope you guys are having wonderful vacations full of happiness and relaxation :)
Once again, thanks for reading.


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